Quote Originally Posted by booksforsale View Post
This made me laugh out loud!

You've probably heard them all before, but here goes. Enjoy!

The top 12 (unintended) funniest double entendres ever aired on British TV and Radio:

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about having to find food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to snow (and didn't), turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

13. Peter Duncan Maybe the best double unintentional entendre was the one made by Peter Duncan on Blue Peter. Johnny and Fanny Craddock had been doing cookery lesson on how to make perfect Ring Doughnuts. Summing up after the culinary instruction Peter said "Well thank you Fanny and Johnny and all you children watching I hope your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's!"
A few more funnies .....

"I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge."
(John Snagge, covering The Boat Race)

"Well, either side could win, or it could be a draw."
(Ron Atkinson — Football Coach)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
(Terry Venables — Football Coach)

"To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch."
(Ruud Gullit — Football Coach)

"We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought."
(Bobby Robson, after playing Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup finals)

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
(Mark Draper — Aston Villa)

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."
(Murray Walker — F1 Motor racing Commentator)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker — F1 Motor racing Commentator)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
(Greg Norman — Golfer)

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing — but none of them serious."
(Alan Minter - Boxer)

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip."
(John Motson — Football Commentator)


"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it — you can see it all over their faces."
(Ron Atkinson — Footballer)

On Tony Adamson's alcoholism: "It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up."
(Ian Wright — Footballer)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got 11 Dicks on the field."
(Metro Radio)

Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald: "Sex is an anti-climax after that."
Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that."