You Gotta Laugh.

[yorkiesauctions]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched In horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of Men playing the next hole.


The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, Fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.


The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.


At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.


She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?


He replied: It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken!

:D

[yorkiesauctions]

He said, She said.


He said... Want a quickie?
She said... As opposed to what?
---
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear briefs, don't you?
---
He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said... Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
---
He said... This coffee isn't fit for a pig!
She said... No problem, I'll get you some that is.
---
She said... What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
---
Priest... I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.
She said... Who's gonna look?
---
He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
She said... No, have you?
---
He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?
She said... Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.
---
He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said... Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
---
He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said... I would, but you're never there.
---
He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said... Well, you succeeded.
---
He said... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said... That's a good idea... You stand by the ironing board, while I sit on the sofa and fart.
---
He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said... Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
---
He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'
She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen.'
---

On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not."



:D

[ginab]

---
He said... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said... That's a good idea... You stand by the ironing board, while I sit on the sofa and fart.


Roflmao :D:D:D:D

[Rednosty]

Its a cracker.....giggles.like a girly!

[yorkiesauctions]

Nine things about folk to annoy you.


1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.


3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?


4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!


5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.


6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?


7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then! there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.


8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?


9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?



:D

[deeangelvampire]

rofl

[kaylacrafts]

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZK) lmao nice one yorkie





http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb096&pp=ZK (http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb096_ZK&utm_id=7924)

[yorkiesauctions]

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_6.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZK) lmao nice one yorkie

I'm in a daft mood today, can you tell ? :D